As a refrigeration technician I try not consume ice from ice machine that I do not regularly service. I have spent hours cleaning ice machines that were not working because they were that filthy

exterminator. 90% of pest control is a clean house with tight seals on windows and doors.

Commercial/Industrial Electrician: 75% of my job does not involve touching wires.

I do HVAC most of materials cost pennies compared to what your charged for an install or service and every part down to the screws can be fixed or replaced instead of replacing a whole system and they will intentionally charge you more if you try to fix things to push you to replace it

I work in a nuclear power plant. While at work I get less radiation then you do outside in the world from the sun.

Nuclear Engineer. Waste isn’t glowy green goo. Idk there’s a lot of misconceptions about nuclear anything

Oil & gas chemist: the fuel you put in your car is sooooo dangerous. I only pump with gloves.

Im a fabricator and people dont realize that OSHA is does way more to protect your rights as an employee than they do about safety

welding does not hurt your eyes other than getting flash burned every now and then

Most bicycle frames are made in the same factory in China

Fire sprinklers in your residence isn't there to save the house. They're mostly to give you time to get out.

I found that out when I buried my brother there all in concrete

Construction - there are airspaces and gaps in your walls, that scratching you hear may not be a ghost but rather a field rat that was cold and got in.

Kindergarten teacher. Your kid’s teacher knows EVERYTHING about you.

English teacher - reread the books you thought were boring in high school. They were warnings about where society is headed.

High school teacher… 75 percent of those kids vape regularly or have tried it. At least 10-25 percent regularly take drugs or have tried it in bathrooms. Oh… and they are waaaay better at sneaking around with their boyfriends and girlfriends behind your back than you think.

school custodian, we know all the staff/teachers secrets and we gossip to the other schools custodians about it. 🤣

School Data Manager here. Yes, we are waiting on other people to add data for us to process your data correctly. Yes, I have called. No, I can't do it without them doing it first. Yes, I will hang up the phone if you start cussing me out when I am being nothing, but nice.

Most people who work in schools don’t like children. Facts.

Nanny here: if you give your kids a big kiss/snuggle/spin in the air before you ask them to do something they’ll pretty much do it everytime

Yoga teacher - you don’t have to be flexible to practice and 99% of yoga isn’t doing poses anyway. It’s the philosophy that no one talks about.

Daycare teachers are any random person put in front of kids. There’s online training that teaches you nothing on how to actually handle kids so when you think of a daycare as “highly trained individuals” they’re not. Which is why it’s important

Career Services professional here. Your college student can find anything we teach them via Google. The 25 years I spent in this career was mainly listening to and reassuring my students. I'm sincere when I say our young adults need a hug.

University ag specialist on a community level. Insect education is so small in any age group. Had to explain to a group of older folks that roly-polies (pill bugs) are not a threat to humans. Doing the state fair now in my state and people don't know what a bee is versus a wasp. Same with grasshoppers vs crickets.

College advisor: homeschool students fail out way more often than public school students. Yes, I can tell you were homeschooled before you told me you were homeschooled.

Librarians spent a lot of time helping people with their cell phones.

Librarian. WE DO NOT READ AT WORK.

Library assistant. In most libraries, you won’t accumulate a fine for overdue books. If it’s just overdue, yes a fine will accumulate but if you turn it in the fine is completely void. If the book is considered “lost” or “damaged”, that is when you are charged with the accumulated fine.

High school teacher here. If your child has a 504/IEP, very few of the accommodations are being met. There aren’t enough resources to make it happen in a classroom of 30+ students. The teacher does some creative accounting on the grade book to help the student look successful.

There’s at least 1-2 schools in every public school district that has a room with padded cells for the emotionally disturbed students who are violent. From the hall it looks like a normal room. These violent kids sit next to your kids in gen Ed.

Children's Therapist. Less than 5% of the money you pay goes to the people that interact with your child.

There’s no cure for tinnitus

Insurance company determined how to diagnose people with obstructive sleep apnea not medical profession.

Healthcare: The worst doctors have the most patients, and insurance will allow you to die to avoid a costly path that may or may not help you.

Hospice nurse: No they can’t just do one round of CPR then DNR you. If you’re a full code you will get coded till it’s called. And broken. And not survive. And if you do survive which is a 1% chance. You won’t like it. Just sign the DNR. CPR is blunt force trauma 😭

in hospice care we don't treat things like blood clots, broken bones, UTIs etc because you're already kicking the bucket.

Nurse here: We can always tell when you’re on drugs. No point in trying to lie about it. Just be up front so we don’t give you any medication that can react to the drugs in your system,

phlebotomist: You're not a hard stick. Someone just messed up/missed and blamed it on you having bad veins

When someone has a heart attack, they’re rushed to the cath lab where we perform surgery through a tiny tube while they’re awake. We thread wires through an artery in their wrist or groin to reach the heart. We use balloons and stents to open blocked arteries and save their life in minutes!

Xray tech: broken and fractured are the SAME thing.

Working in eyecare, the amount of people driving that can't actually see is scary.

dental- more radiation in eating a banana than getting a single xray

Optician here..we can tell when you clean your glasses without liquid, with windex, or a paper towel and we can tell when you take them off with one hand and if you try to fix the nose pads yourself 😎 so telling us "no I don't" and you getting mad at us for things you do doesn't bother us in the slightest

Therapist: everyone can benefit from therapy but it only works if you don’t lie!

Psycho Ward Tech: yall have GOT to stop smoking weed regularly. Especially the weed you buy at smoke shops, but any weed in general. 70% of our first-break psychotic patients and about 60% of our constantly returning patients are no more than marijuana smokers with absolutely nothing else in their system. For every 10 patients we admit, only 1 or 2 smoke/inject other drugs, and maybe 1 will be what we called a “certified with a stamp” psychotic (as in they have NOTHING in their system and never had. They are just tried and true sick). But the rest of those 7-8 patients? Marijuana smokers. I would suggest smoking once or twice a week at the maximum and only if you’re getting it home-grown from “the guy”. If you’re going to risk your hand at the smoke shops grass, I would limit it to monthly at MAX.

therapist here. dark alleys work best👌

pharm tech: there’s ALWAYS a cheaper price for meds!

pharmacy tech-metformin can increase women to get pregnant no matter the age

pharmacies are often losing $ on the prescriptions they fill for you.

paramedic: medical professionals makes mistakes all the time. If they can lie about their mistakes, they will to cover for themselves.

Firefighter/paramedic: most ems calls are not emergencies

Paramedic. You can drastically reduce your chances of dying by literally just not speeding and not smoking.

Chef, often the “special of the day” is scaps or soon to be expired food

Franchise Restaurant owner here…we’re all broke fighting for our lives to keep the lights on and employee’s paid

Your clean and BOH kitchen clean are two completely different things

Butcher here. Food costs are inflated by distributors and monopolies in the food manufacturing industry. 4 major beef companies in the US. 4 major pork companies. It’s all artificial inflation

Don’t have a favorite donut shop. They’re all using the same product y’all need to research Dawn company. 👍🏻 And you definitely don’t wanna know what’s in it. 🤣

I assemble kitchen cabinets. We strip the screws all the time. We also use crayons to touch up your paint.

Don’t drink the coffee from vending machines the amount of mold and bugs I’ve seen, the smell 😭

Restaurant manager there’s animals inside every restaurant

My last restaurant that I just quit, we had a roach problem. I was unaware until I found one, I told chef and my manager and the most they did is bring the roach outside. didn't do shit for the roach problem.

Wine bottles may have small glass shards/glass dust on them since some may have been reused from boxes that have had broken bottles in them. be careful when grabbing them also, some box truck engines are shit and can not accelerate worth a damn. Please be patient with them. also many MANY company trucks HAVE to go the speed limit (or 3mph over depends on the company) or they have speed limiters on them. if you see a truck going 65 in a 70, please just realize its a speed limiter...be patient with truckers in general please... dont tailgate them, they're already going as fast as they are allowed/possibly can with their load

Bartender here. Never say pour heavy. Tip first you’ll thank me one day.

when you don't tip your bartender after a routine transaction with no drama, the whole staff hears about it and judges you

Bartender- 1. not tipping doesn’t prove anything to our employer. 2. if you want us to be paid a livable wage, be ready for your burger and fries to go from $20 to $40+. 3. 80% of people forget all common sense the moment they sit at a restaurants table/bar.

Produce industry... organic doesn't mean pesticide free

rancher:cows do have personality and are dramatic

Farmer - homesteading is ridiculous. We have an electric grid and grocery stores for a good reason. No one wants your homemade goat soap.

Produce manager. I cannot stress enough the importance of washing your produce before you eat it.

i used to work in a deli. the micro plastics in lunch meat isnt so micro anymore. stop eating lunch meat. we've had to spoil entire blocks of meat and cheese from being woven with sheets of plastic. sometimes we dont see it right away.

The best i got is when i worked at a grocery store (and got a degree in psych), if you confused, irritated, or suspicious in any way, chances are its done intentionally to manipulate you.

Banking. We are looking through your accounts, transactions, direct deposits, what do you make, where do you shop. We are bored.

Previous banker - yes they are intentionally crippling communities in NSF fees.

The bank does not want your property. They just want you to make your payment.

Ua/Welder: Tell your kids trades are making wayyy more than most 4 yr degree’s with student loans will ever pay them .

Pension plans still exist.

Ex-stripper here. We had to pay to go to work. So we start the night already $250+ in debt to the club and have to pay regardless of whether we make that or not 🤣

Real estate appraisals: your house is the same value whether you clean or not so just relax 🙏✨

Property manager, different companies look for ways to judge your application outside of fair housing laws. Ex: auto denial if you are an unauthorized occupant at your current spot. Better get on that lease!

Real estate agent here - paying your mortgage bi-weekly will reduce your loan term by 6-7 years & saves you thousands in interest

Tax preparer: we do not, I repeat, we do NOT work for the government. We are not part of the government. We do not have special access to the government. We most certainly cannot control the speed that the IRS processes your return and issues your refund. We are fellow civilans allowed to help you fill out those obnoxiously convoluted forms. THAT IS IT.

im an accountant. You don’t really need to know math

Payroll specialist- always always review your paystubs. Mistakes happen ALL the time and the longer it takes to notice the issue, the harder it can be to fix the problem. Also always contribute an additional withholding amount if you’re anymore other than exempt from fed taxes

Tax pro here: I'd say about 75% of tax returns are done incorrectly. Even those prepared by CPAs. All because of our needlessly complicated tax laws. 🙄

Car business: Dividing your monthly payment in half and paying it every 2 weeks allows you to pay your car off in a year quicker, saving you thousands on interest.

most people take their cars to dealerships thinking they’re getting the best service while lots of dealerships actually pay other tire companies/mechanics to get it fixed and charge you double what they get charged…

Working for a dealership, sales makes more money on used cars than new cars.

Paralegal- marshals can freeze your bank account and garnish wages for credit card debit

most debt collectors work hard to follow all laws and help consumers

The majority of lawyers make a good but moderate living and are not considered rich or wealthy like it’s often portrayed in shows or movies. Think about this before you want to take out 200k in loans to go to law school 👍

I work for the local county government and there's A LOT of time spent not working across the board. all on the taxpayers dime. 🙃

Illegal immigrants cannot collect food stamps or get Medicaid. The narrative that they are abusing the system is inherently false

The pay back rate on slot machines is much higher than people think. They’re not rigged, you just aren’t betting enough.

I work for the local county government and there's A LOT of time spent not working across the board. all on the taxpayers dime. 🙃

I deal with inmates and their families. The absolute nicest people I talk to are family members of people on 💀 Row

You may be summoned to court to testify about students from years back 😭.

Inmates escape often. In Oklahoma, you can sign up for orange codes. It's essentially a text to warn you that an inmate has escaped in your area

social worker: your medical insurance pays for extra benefits you arent aware of! Attendants, housing renovations for disability accessibility, all medical equipment. Also as a therapist: people who say therapy isnt for everyone or it doesnt work, doesnt actively do the physical work needed outside of therapy!

social worker: your medical insurance pays for extra benefits you arent aware of! Attendants, housing renovations for disability accessibility, all medical equipment. Also as a therapist: people who say therapy isnt for everyone or it doesnt work, doesnt actively do the physical work needed outside of therapy!

Dhs receives money everytime they pull a child from home. The state makes more money adopting them out to strangers than relatives. They will make up a reason and then make money on it. Don’t talk to them, get an attorney.

Not everyone cares about their kids. Some use their kids to get money for themselves from the government

I'm a cop. Miranda rights are not automatically read just because someone is arrested like on TV.

Most ppl call 911(EMS/Fire specifically )bc it’s convenient and not bc it’s a true emergency. They don’t want to problem solve.

Most cops don’t want to enforce the law and will make every effort to avoid the paperwork required after / getting stuck at work after the shift ended (obviously will get paid OT though). It’s mostly those that have an actual passion for the job and those looking to get promoted or go to a certain unit.

Rural firefighter. Most people don’t realize their local rural fd might only have one or no people on duty at a time. We just hope volunteers show up if we need them

Firefighter: Fire trucks are red to camouflage with the fire

Firefighter, we do have authority over pd but in rare cases. Also we hate it if they pull up and start knocking windows out because it adds more air to the fire.

Military grade means the cheapest materials that still get the job done well enough. Don't pick that one 😉

To legally put this, the Navy can discharge "very small amounts of long-lived gamma radioactivity into seas greater than 12 nautical miles of shore"

The navy dumps a lot of trash into the ocean. Bags and bags of plastic, metal, you name it.

Truck driver here if you dont see my mirror i dont see you

Fuel delivery driver: pretty much every brand of gasoline is the same exact stuff. There are some slight additive differences, but additive makes up a very very small percentage. Also, bonus fact for anyone with tractors/bobcats/whatever off road equipment: dyed diesel is not only the exact same as clear diesel, it comes out of the same pipe. Dyed diesel gets a bad rap because a lot of places that sell it don’t have the best quality tanks

Dispatcher: we cannot see your location all of the time. Even if we could, you should still be aware of your surroundings to at least have a general idea (if possible)

Aircraft repair- most of the planes flying during the busy seasons have parts not working properly. The airlines just doesn't want to ground planes and lose money.

air traffic controller here - *deleted entire paragraph* ugh

Flight attendant here - NEVER under any circumstances put your bare face on a airplane seat and I can’t believe I have to say this but NEVER walk around the airport or airplane (especially the lavatory) without shoes or socks

i’m a private flight attendant and i fly about as many flights with no passengers as i do with passengers 🤣 about half are just repositioning flights to go GET the passengers

Package delivery driver: After you receive your package DO NOT put it on your kitchen island, counter, dining table etc. Even if it looks clean, it is not clean, I promise you.

Delivery driver. If you think your package has been delicately handled from A to B. It hasn't been. Sorting process is rough. If it shows up damaged. It 90% of the time was not the driver. Add that extra layer of protection. Trust me. 😅

We as drivers are not responsible for any trash or waste sitting on the ground outside your dumpster. If you and a friend couldn’t put the mattress in the dumpster, what makes you think a single truck operator can?

uber driver here. you may think your child is safe riding in an Uber because we are background checked but youre sadly mistaken. there ARE creeps that drive for Uber and youre putting your child at risk of danger and harm!

As a bus driver majority of buses don’t have AC. If it’s summer and school lets out at 3 and your kid doesn’t get home til 4, they’re sitting for an hour in over 100 degree bus.

Most things yall call for do not even require an ambulance. Uber is cheaper if you wanna get checked out.

Former hotel manager: every single hotel has had bed bugs at some point unless it’s a brand new hotel. It’s not the hotels fault-people bring them in and the biggest culprit was a certain traveling show for kids with 🧊 and pilots/airline workers because they travel so much. Always check your hotel room by leaving your bags in hallway or put them in the tub until you know the room is clear.

Restorationist here, most of the artifacts that you see in museums aren’t actually there, they’re usually mock ups to make sure they’re safe while someone like me is in the back cleaning and restoring them. Great example: the museum I work at has only had a specific statuette out on the actual floor once in the last 10 years, and that was when it came into the museum. Another thing, most of the artifacts you see are stolen or shouldn’t be with us, but it’s industry standard so we can’t really do anything about getting it back to the people the piece is supposed to be with, case in point, the statuette I mentioned isn’t supposed to be outside Greece, however it is.

Water damage specialist: 9/10 if you buy a used home or even new it has hidden water damage. Most apartments has active mold spores in the air. Most condominiums before 1985 3 or more attached will have asbestos so be careful on renovations. Some families of mold can also look similar to old desecrated termite tunnels.

95% of the time when we tell you the parts for your car didn’t show up, it just means we overbooked outselves

It's not personal. In fact, we would love it if we could be more personal because all of us got into this line of work to help people, but the realities of the job means that getting emotionally close to clients would eat us alive due to the volume of suffering we interact with. We never have enough resources to help people enough and it hurts. We eventually get numb to the insults and slurs thrown at us because we know that explaining how broken the system we are working in wouldn't do anything to help our clients.

Believe it or not but 95.67% of mechanics aren’t scammers, but there is a good amount of dumbasses

data analytics, you can make the numbers show what you want them to show and still be 'accurate'

as a BI analyst I am asked to build websites more than I am asked to analyze anything

Slot Machine Programmer: The machines wait for you to stop playing after losing all your money to then give it to the next guy as long as they know the secret code and whisper to the Mic located underneath the button deck

No no. I have a question FOR YOU. And it is as follows: WHERE ARE THE BODIES ??? 30 years on this earth and I’ve never once seen a new cemetery or one that isn’t taking people anymore. That’s not possible.

But it will fill up with water

If we drop it we just put it back in there anyways

Laser operator for concerts - most shows run entirely off time code. All the magic is preprogrammed.

TV Production- studios are typically a lot smaller than they appear on tv. Oh, and a lot of talent will present their show in either blue jeans or slippers 😂 then switch to heels/slacks whenever they absolutely need to.

I work in tv and almost everyone below the line are normal middle class people :-)

marketing here. it's all basically psyops. most of us have a lesser degree/minored in psychology and the entire industry is based on psychological manipulation. I hate this industry but luckily I work for a good, ethical firm that only takes on good, ethical clients

I’m a sales manager at a hotel. I have to create contracts and sift through legal documents. I sometimes feel like I work in a law firm

PR agencies are chop shops and they won’t get you anywhere close to the amount of publicity/online engagement they promise. Hire a few in-house public relations and comms people that work with the marketing dept for results.

Environmental due diligence. The soils and fill in the Chicagoland area are all contaminated from the fire and/or the stockyards. Soils in Streetville are also radioactive from the old Lindsey Light plant. 👍🏽

a lot of problems in science (especially field work) is fixed by simple mundane things. Straws, water, elmer’s glue, baking soda etc. It’s not as complicated as you may think until it gets to the research then it gets WEIRD! Like putting shrimps on treadmill lol

scientist: those diagnostic tests you get at the hospital? the remaining sample gets sold (unidentified other than pathogens present) to companies for research

Recruiter: it is not what you know but who. I’ve seen the most unqualified people make over 6 figs. Just off their dad, bf, neighbor, and soccer moms.

Work around drinks!!! Please… please wash the can area before drinking from the can, or put it in a cup please

HR here. There is no way to “beat the applicant tracking system” when you apply for a job. Errors on payroll are errors you or your manager caused 99% of the time. We actually do care about employees but need to balance that with needs of the business.

the ONLY retail store that ACTUALLY makes their cakes in store is costco! the other places get it shipped in frozen and we just decorate it.

Basically all fries you eat in the us either retail or in restaurants are made by one of 3 companies.

When you buy fruit and vegetable plants from basic retail stores. They’re usually watered with the stores water that’s labeled “ not drinkable”

Hilton employees can stay at any (available) Hilton property around the world for $40 a night

Every hotel has had at least one person die in it.

Used to work at a bed and breakfast; Our "local baker" was Sam's Club.

I deliver flowers as a retirement gig. When possible do not order flowers from a 1-800 company. They only pass on 80% of the $$ to the florist (and you get 80% of the flowers). Call the local florist directly to get the best value. Also try to call at least 3 days out so the florist can order the exact flowers you want instead of working from the stock they have on hand.

I work at an adult toy store, we do not accept returns. You’d be shocked how many people don’t comprehend that.

I am a floral designer. There is more to my profession than pocking flowers in water. There is processing, managing, cleaning out, etc. I have carpal tunnel in both hands, tennis elbow and a bad shoulder from lifting buckets and arrangements for 24 years. It's not just playing with flowers.