All food/treat related requests/arguments are made through Arty (a stuffed animal he got me when we first started dating) so “Arty told me he’d like you to bring back some ice cream from the store” “unfortunately Arty ate all the cookies before you could get one but he’s very sorry” “Arty thinks you should decide what’s for dinner tonight”

My husband and I took our kids to Disney and it drove us nuts that everyone there says “Have a magical day” even though we were hot, rushed, and overstimulated. Ever since then, whenever we are mad at each other, instead of saying FU, kiss my azz, etc, we tell each other to have a magical day.

We only argue naked because we know that if we can continue to argue while naked then it’s a big deal that needs to be hashed out

I crocheted massive vibrant octopus and whenever we need to have a serious conversation, we have to put them on our heads because then you can’t get annoyed if it’s not something you agree with because we both look so ridiculous

we hiss at each other like cats whenever someone is doing or saying something we dont like but its not worth fighting over.

Both me and my husband are very talented at faking different dialects so when we argue we always do it in different voices and dialects. It’s very funny

When my husband is being a butthead I hiss at him.

We don’t argue very much but if we do he will do something to make me laugh or rub my head and play with my hair. If that doesn’t work we give each other space until we can calmly talk about whatever bothered us.

One time I could tell he was mad at me so I asked him to explain how he felt using interpretive dance. 🕺

Not married but me and my bf when we get into an argument we will put our faces real close to where we look like bugs. Then proceed to tilt our heads saying “bug bug” at each other. Usually ends in laughter and we can communicate more calmly

The one with the pastor is pretty similar to what me and my ex-gf did when we fought, we would stick up our pointer finger (in place of our middle finger) and start laughing hard enough that we forget what we’re fighting about

I blast the Toy Story 2 song “when she loved me” whenever I feel like I’m not getting enough attention 😂

i also passive-aggressively sing songs. i started doing it when I realized he was reacting to the songs I was randomly singing.

when my boyfriend start zone into his phone while im talking about somethim3 we need to do start singing ALL BY MYYSEEELFFF. works everytime. he (has adhd) laugh and give me his attention

I flirt with my husband like I don't know him when we are out. He always ask me "does your husband know you are here?" I'm scared we might end up on TikTok lol

My husband randomly asks if I come here often….. no comment on how I feel about it.

We will randomly act like we don’t know each other and we’ll start flirting with each other. Like if I am driving next to him, I’ll pull up and run my window down and be like “hey sexy you married?” or the other day he was like “wow you’re beautiful, are you single?” then he saw my phone screensaver and was like “oh you have children. Cute kids. Do they need a father?” 🤣🤣🤣

we have fake arguments about stuff neither of us cares about. we fake escalte it then laugh. we rarely have any real arguments

We play competitive games with each other, we can be as mean as we want while we play, it is highly effective as keeping zero fights in our real lives. 13 years so far!

We roleplay a toxic couple and have fake arguments lol both of us grew up in abusive households and acting out these things when we're making dinner or doing chores adds something fun but also reassuring one another that acting like that towards each other will never be reality because we love each other very much and communicate when we have actual frustrations/or are upset

my partner it's a kindergarten teacher so she has a muscle memory to always say be careful even when it's the littlest things. so I made a rule that instead of be careful she says have fun .

if i want to vent to him about something I have to clarify with "closed vent" indicating I don't need a solution to the problem. if i want or need a solution its "open vent"

We have a rule where is one of us has to poop, we play classical music 😂

When we are out with others our code word is muskrat, means either change the subject or time to go home.

My husband and I have one of those octopuses with a smiley and angry face. We flip it when we are mad. It's been flipped to mad since I got pregnant 29 weeks ago 😂

I will call my boyfriend by his full name and he straightens up like a soldier and says "yes general"

Whatever something is really irritating me and I’m super annoyed I say that’s darling which means…….

When my husband or I get overwhelmed or overstimulated we “MOO” to convey we are “having a cow” without lashing out

we have an argument safe word. any time too much tension builds up, we just say "banana" and stop everything until we calm down enough to discuss things calmly. we also have a different safe word whenever we feel oversensitive or targeted. we just say "marshmallow" and we have to stop and hug for at least a minute until just physically connecting regulates our nervous systems for us. cannot recommend this tactic enough.

when my husband and I can feel things are starting to get heated during a discussion we say LOUDMOUTH 🗣️and that always cracks us up

We have a rule that if one of us says “Oklahoma “ we have to say what’s on our mind no matter what. It’s usually only brought up when we see the other is in a different mood. (With this being both of our second marriages communication is top on our list)

We practice saying "I love you AND" INSTEAD OF "I love you but" because it accepts the person while acknowledging the frustrating behavior.

we use the "naked truth" rule when we need to share something that might come off as rude or hurtful. or we say "hablando como compas" which is pretty much "talking like two dude friends" and just say whatever is on our mind. Works great to prevent conversations that need to happen without turning them into arguments ❤️

when we starting getting mad about a topic we will remind each other mid scream “I’m not mad at you I’m mad at the situation” & then continue letting our anger out 🤣

my wife and I also do the "same team" thing. also if we're arguing and it starts to get heated one of us will say "deep breath baby" and we'll both pause, take a deep breath, and continue the conversation in a more civil manner. We also only disagree and correct in private. idgaf if she says the sky is purple, ill 💀 convincing whole world the sky is purple, but in private ill correct her lol.

When embarking on a drive I, too, give him a pep talk. It’s actually more like vows: I [name] promise to not yell at other drivers for every single little stupid thing they do (and so on). He has to honor the vow lol

I’ll say “wrong answer” when he says something I don’t like lol

I don’t have any advice. He lets me be right always and we argue maybe once a year.. and I’ll tell him to go to his hole, he does. He argues with me to himself though. He gets out his anger and by the time I get home he’s not mad anymore

When my wife asks me to do something over and over I say “remember… you only have to tell me 100 times until I remember. I think this is #32 of 100. We are almost half way”. She laughs and doesn’t feel like she is nagging.

I announce in a narrator’s voice “and he said the divorce came out of nowhere”

i ask my wife what does she have planned for today? she responds every time with "plotting your death"

I use this when he doesnt listen and acts all difficult. Im like: okay you do you, dont listen to me. Dont cry and be surprised when I call it quits one day.

I gentle parent my husband. He never learned to regulate his emotions as a child and that unfortunately spilled over into adulthood. When he starts getting worked up I say “you have some really big feelings today buddy, let’s do some box breathing.” And then I immediately start modeling the behavior. Or I ask him: “do you need food or nap before we continue this conversation?” That usually makes him self reflect and correct his tone.

I’m a former HR Director and I told my husband the other day “I think I’m going to start giving you a yearly review because your performance hasn’t met the company standards.”

When my wife and I call each other out on literally anything the immediate response is “Listen Lady!” And then give the knife hand 🫱🏻

I tell my husband I’m taking him to the train station 😂😂😂

I had a friend whom with her exhusband would turn away and speak like she is facing an imaginary audience and say something to them like "I swear I just told him xyz!" whenever he did not listen. They divorced because one was not ready to have kids.

When I’m arguing with my husband after I’m done with my speech and flaring arms, he starts to clap and says the academy award goes to and then we both start laughing

My fiancé tells me he’s going to buy me a fish tank when I get mad and that “my gills are showing” to get me to laugh.

When he does something I don’t like, I say “Eww. Bad behavior.”🤭

In a car when ever I’m with someone who scares me when they are driving I’m going weeeeee they have no clue that my car accident still haunts me

when mine says something rude or I dont like i just say "ew" 😅

When he says some out of pocket shit to me, I start looking around like I lost my keys. When he says, “What are you looking for?” I say, “The audacity”

If he says something that I dont want to hear and then he brings it up later I act like I have no idea what he's talking about and blame it on my ADHD brain.

I act completely helpless (my version of weaponized incompetence.) for example, if he forgets to open the door for me when getting into the car, I stand there and look at the door like I simply can’t understand how it works.

when i forget to take my clothes out of the bathroom after a shower, my husband says some variation of "Looks like another Jedi died in the bathroom." works every time and makes us both laugh.

I say his fav saying from long time ago that use to annoy me... "NEGATIVE GHOSTRIDER".

I say “to the face” when my husband is frustrating/irritating me. It’s referencing The Hangover 2 when they get arrested and the police let the kids tase them and Zach G’s character gets hit in the face 😂

instant do over. if I say something and realize I was rude, I'll follow it up immediately with "I didn't mean that they way it came out, let me try again." I think take a moment and say what I meant instead of letting my unfiltered thoughts out. we never agreed to this, but my wife absolutely loves that I correct myself in real time because I care about her feelings. on the same kind of note, when I'm trying to explain something and I cam tell she agreed to quick or she looks confused, I'll stop and say, "I feel like what I said and what you hears might not have been the same thing..." and we go back and make sure we're on the same page. it's never anyone's fault, we just communicate differently some we need to translate it properly.

My Husband and I have been together for almost 17 years and we rarely argue, but when we do if he can get me to laugh then the argument is void.

My man and I actually switch sides when we tiff. He says “my thoughts” out loud or argues my points, and I respond with his thoughts or points. It’s too playful yet empathetic to stay tense. Another version when we need to be more direct : “The story in my head is [you hate my friends]”

Omg I can’t believe I made it onto one of your videos! 🤣 I’m the scheduled arguments person. We’ve added to it— the person who’s speaking is the “beef chief” 🤣

We don’t have biweekly beef but we have Sunday Check-ins. A safe space to bring up things that have gotten under our skin before they turn into a fight 🥰

I have my husband on a standing PIP and every week I negotiate if it’s going to a full divorce or an extended weekly review. I also call him my current husband. Haha

We‘ve refined “never go to bed angry“ to “never stay angry for 24 hours“. Sometimes youre both tired and NEED a good night of sleep and some space before you can talk about it and actually find a solution.

Shirt off. When I’m tired of arguing and just wanted to end, I just take my shirt off. Grievances have a 24 hour shelflife. If you’re pissed off about something you better bring it up within that timeframe or forget it.

My husband and I are not good morning people. Whatever we say for the first hour we're awake doesn't count.

We have a walk-in closet, and when we’re having a difference of opinion over parenting we go into the closet and shut the door. These “closet conversations” allow us to figure out how to parent together but not disagree in front of the kids.

My wife and I absolutely REFUSE to joke about divorce which is a law that I came up with. For context: I used to be really depressed and said things like “I wanna [off] myself” without meaning it but I started to believe after a while. I saw a quote that says “tell yourself nice things so that they come true. Words are magic, that’s why it’s called ‘spelling’!” So, when my wife and I started seriously talking about marriage, I told her the long version of that story and that quote and made sure she knew that I was serious about not joking about divorce at all. Almost 2 years in and we’re still in our honeymoon phase with our first baby on the way!

I've been married for 14 years, I definitely follow the rule of always backing my wife up in public. silly things aside, if it's a serious issue, even if I vigorously disagree with the wife, if we are in public I back her up.

My husband once used voice to text and he said "Look Lin" but it typed "Brooklyn" so now when I am annoyed I tell him to call Brooklyn, even the kids play along

everytime something goes wrong we blame it on shawn, yet to meet shawn

Whenever my partner and I argue about semantics (90% of our conflicts comes from misunderstanding), we call it Samantha, blame it on her and go along with our day 🤣

Mine leaves cabinets and drawers open ALL THE TIME AND ITS SO ANNOYING but I don’t want to nag about little things, so I say, “oh that damn ghost is back!!”

I always say we dont have gnomes (the tiniest people) to do certain tasks. And I am certainly not one of them. Because men tend to think things magicly work out without their effort. This makes him realize he needs to step it up. No secret house slave who is going to do it for him.

we have a ghost to blame things on. we are both so ADHD there is a good chance we genuinely forgot who did or didn't do something anyways

We blame everything on the dog.. Zander didn’t take out the trash. Zander didn’t unload the dishwasher. Zander made a mess. It’s quite funny and kinda works

I blame the cat when he does things that annoy me 😭 "Babe, Mochi forgot to take out the recycling!", "Babe, Mochi didn't even fold the clothes like he was supposed to!" Then he goes "Wow Mochi is an a-hole" and does what he's supposed to 😂

We blame everything on Merlot, Merlot is our beloved black cat.

We blame everything on our roommate… we don’t have a roommate.

When one of us doesn’t do something that the other asked cuz it slipped our mind. Or some other thing that would start a fight happens. We blame our son that I miscarried at 16 weeks 😅

We used to tell the kids “due to state budget cuts we had to let the maid go”.

when I ask him to do a project and he ignores me, I ask my FIL how I can do it. "how do I replace the bathroom faucet?" works every time 🤣

I pretend to call his mom and say “ when are going to send babysitter payment ? Cause by my calculations you missed the last three months. I will deliver the package with all his belongings. I actually have an empty suitcase in the closet. He freaks out and says he get right on that. Only question I am on the defensive is didshe actually paid a woman to take him in like a stray pet!?

my oldest daughter tells her husband " I'll just ask my dad to help me do it." it gets done lol

I bought red flags from Amazon and will place them on things around the house that I've asked to be done or put away. It works for my kids, too. It lets me make my annoyance known without having to verbally nag anyone😂🚩

Can I just say that my husband hasn’t put his laundry away and the basket has been in my way for over two weeks. I started making him take the basket to work until he puts the clothes up🥲🤣

I say I’ll play any video game with him if he helps me clean……WORKS EVERYTIME and half the time it doesn’t even happen🤣

I asked my husband to fix my patio chair that was missing a bolt. I asked a few times and he still hadn’t done it. I waited until we had guests over and I told them he didn’t know how to fix it so don’t sit in that chair. He fixed it immediately. 😂

when im cleaning and he's just sitting there, I stop and ask if he's comfortable or if he needs a drink. he gets up immediately and helps

There’s a bell by the trash that we ring when we throw stuff away, he rings it to show he’s throwing his stuff away, and I ring it to show him how often I’m throwing his stuff away that he leaves out 😂 it works

The power tools trick is a classic. I just have to ask him how to use the tool and the task is instantly done…by him

I can confirm getting the wrong power tools out. He don’t want me messing with his expensive tools lol works every time 😎

If I get the power tools my husband just wonders what I’m up to now. He Came home from work to a fully built deck one day, he didn’t even question it. 😅

After I ask for a task to be done 3 times, I start the task on my own regardless of how little I may know about completing said task. Want a cement side walk? Let him come home to the front yard torn up in a vague path shape and suddenly it is done the next weekend. Try asking where a specific power tool is and see the panic set in.

I asked my husband a bunch of times to move my desk to a different room, he didn’t do it so I did. I bought a second desk that sat in the package for 3 days before I put it together then When I bought a cabinet next to put together for our bathroom, he put it together that day and carried it upstairs.

My husband is so well trained that if I stand up to clean he instantly follows 😏

18 months a widow here. I just cried thru these comments. It did remind me tho, I used to tell him I "won" something from a contest instead of telling him I actually bought it 🤭 I suppose he knows now 😅❤️I miss him 💔

When I buy myself a treatment I tell him I got it for free or heavily discounted as I am being used as a model

When I buy new shit I just tell him we’ve had it forever and he just wasn’t paying attention. He either believes me or just doesn’t care lmao

when i want to go on holidays i tell my husband that the trip is XXX amount of money, then wait a few days and tell him it's now half price and we must book it now to save money( the half price is the real price) 🤣🤣🤣

I did something similar with a christmas list when I was in High-school. My family never knew what to get me, as I didn't often ask for anything. I put some semi expensive electronics on it and some cheap clothes on my list. I was wanting some new clothes as I was wearing mine out. They got me the electronics. My plan backfired.

My mother used to hide expensive outfits until she could find a red pen…then she would write a giant X over the price and adjust it to $10.99. My dad never caught on. I use this same trick with my hubby to this day.

If my husband ask me to come find something he’s been looking for and I find it he has to load my Starbucks gift card. I haven’t paid for Starbucks in 7 years

I actually do the cash back thing to but to save it so he doesn’t spend it and then I’m the hero when an unexpected thing comes up or we just want to treat us to a nice dinner. He doesn’t even get mad that I’m hiding his money 😂😂

We do but we each have “play money” so we set aside money for us to use on things we want. So he uses his play money to reload my card

Anytime I want to order something, but don’t want to spend my money, I add it to his cart because he can’t stand to see a notification. I always act so surprised when the package shows up. 😏

When ever my husband needs money and he asks me if i can help i would say i will borrow money from my sister and pay her back when its payment time ( i actually borrow from myself and he doesnt know lol )

You know what I do? When I buy myself something expensive..I wait till he’s home to open the package. Before he is able to even have any kind of negative reaction to what I bought, I jump into his arms and say “ohhh babe, how did you know I wanted this?!” After that I kiss him and walk off! He was confused at first but now he plays along like he got it for me 😂🤭. It’s actually really cute♥️